Photos you Feel, by Picsie Chick

To my thirteen year old self

PicsieChick — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 06:31:52 +0000

You can let it go…, originally uploaded by picsie.chick.

Dear little one,

You will not have to live this way forever. Practice finding joy today in the small things you see.

Surround yourself in a rainbow of butterflies.

Enjoy your food. Be awake to what makes you happy. Ignore the negatives in your world. You will leave them behind soon enough.

Do not despair. One day you will have a camera that will see the world as you do.

That boy with the blue eyes from the record store? He’s the one. When he offers you a ride to town, say yes. When he tries to break up with you, say no. When you picture the two of you old together, it’s true.

When your family does all they can to make you miserable, know that it is them, it is not you. They haven’t even noticed how unloved you feel. They never will. But you can love yourself and give yourself all the things you missed.

The snappy true come back to your Dad’s disappointing decision is “I couldn’t be any more lonely than I am now”. If you don’t think of this until you are over 40, that’s okay.

If you practice doing things that you are not immediately good at, you might get good at them. Find someone with a dog so you can learn to catch and throw a ball. The more you try, the better you will be at it.

Do not starve yourself.

Contrary to what you think, you will not die and destroy your mother with loss. The lack of nutrition in these critical years will create some very difficult health issues when you are older. You are going to live a very long time and these issues will always be there.

Computers will be more of your life than you think. Learn how to learn them as soon as you can.

You are stronger than you think. Your body is good at building muscle and keeping it, at lifting more than you can imagine.

That thing you decided to forget. It’s okay, I won’t go looking for it.

You can let it go.

You will learn compassion. It will blossom during a time of great loss. Your heart will break open again and again, only to pour more love into the world.

The very kids who isolate you now will claim they admired you for your intelligence and felt you were a leader. They didn’t know any better way to treat you.

You are right, everything you need is within you. Yet you will learn from many sources just how to unfurl this.

One day you will find your people.

You will call them Soul-Family

This will be beautiful. Lush. Empowering.

In the meantime, soak in all of life. Remember the moments that make your heart sing.

With hugs and butterflies,
~Teresa~

This post has been inspired by many sisters I have been reading recently, including:
Amanda Farough
Ronna Detrick
Karen Sharp
Sara Blackthorne
Wholly Jeanne
Mrs. Mediocrity
Jesse Blayne
Tanya Geisler
Sandi Amorim
Dara McKinley
Amy Palko
Julie Daley

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All these tiny voices call to me and my lens

PicsieChick — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 20:08:59 +0000

Glimpsed through her rich, piercing quietness…, originally uploaded by picsie.chick.

Click to listen to Teresa read Web Holds All

what words will come
in the half-light
of this darkened room

where my own hand
obscures my view of the words
with the shadow it casts

moments of my day

seep in

    footsteps in snow
    tiny bits of nature
        also partly obscured
            glimpsed through her rich, piercing quietness
        the shadow of snowfall

each wee glimpse of Beauty
is a voice whose plea is
        see me
                hear me
                            know that I am here

                with all these tiny voices
        who call to me and my lens
    together we weave a web that
holds all

connecting

    this moment to the Infinite
    this solid curve and colour with the Vast Mystery
    soul-family, sister to sister
all swimming together in the river of Gratitude

                    I am powerless to refuse these voices
            I bring you their light
    their message

so we may each celebrate our place
        in this web of the Infinite
                together

never alone

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Message of the Infinite

PicsieChick — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 06:50:26 +0000

shower you with light and love of the Vast Mystery…, originally uploaded by picsie.chick.

Click to hear Teresa read Frail Vessel

sometimes
the frailty of this vessel
is a frustration

how to do this work
        bring you the message of the Infinite
                invite you to the river of Gratitude
        shower you with light and love of the Vast Mystery

when the body stops me

such a wonder of tissues
        web of arteries
                connections wide and mysterious within
        brain to organs to blood to muscles
interdependent
                            alive
                                                joined

just like here

just like soul-family

I nurture her
or so I think

good food
                            water
                                                movement
Beauty
                            music
                                                love

and still she shows her limits
migraines to my thoughts
like sunflares to the interwebs

disturbance

        a call to rest
                a loud reminder
        that she must be respected

even in
especially in

moments of her weakness

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She feeds me through my lens

PicsieChick — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 20:41:15 +0000

She has called to me always…, originally uploaded by picsie.chick.

Click to listen to Teresa read Through My Lens

she moves in me

I feel her flow
her deep insistent pull

she has called to me always
        her whisper is not quite clear
    her voice mixed with a resonant murmur
                                                     is that your voice I hear with hers?

she feeds me

    through my lens
        the vibrant living Infinite
            flowing her loving Gratitude
    into me

I am all too eager
to drink of her
to fill myself at her fountain

deep within
there is more to this

            her pull is strong
        and so much more
    than the joy of Beauty

I can feel her call
                in every cell
            she beckons me to
        shed and renew
    to bring to you
her message

she feeds you

and deeper in the spiral
there is yet more

she needs me
    through my lens
        her loving energy
    reflects back to her

this feeds her, too

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My one word for 2012: small

PicsieChick — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 07:22:19 +0000

small is the whisper who awakens my heart…, originally uploaded by picsie.chick.

Click to here Teresa read One Word Small

One word
only one

How many words in my vocabulary?
How many in the dictionary?
How many can we make up?

Answer those and you’ll notice one thing about the number you come up with.

It’s big.

Here is it is 2012 and I finally feel drawn to release a word for myself

this word, this one word
is significant
holding weight and promise
all that is heavy and light
all that is solid and ethereal
all that gives my heart exactly what it needs
for this one year

and I choose

small

not shy, shrinking, diffident
not insufficient, insignificant
not less than

small is where my camera takes me

she shows me that which is often missed
in details
small
intricate
intimate

she reveals
small undulating curves
glimmering dulcet hues
dappled doorways
illuminating subtle pathways
drawing me to the Vast Mystery

her loving lens connects me with
the web of soul-family

small is the whisper
who awakens my heart

small is each step
of life’s bold quest

small is the shift
that changes the world

small is bigger than we might think

Under my loving lens
small is Infinite

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Alive in Gratitude

PicsieChick — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 07:44:58 +0000

She glimmers brightly when I am seen…, originally uploaded by picsie.chick.

Click to hear Teresa read Alive in Gratitude

there is a place within every flower
under the wing of every bird
and butterfly
in every drop of water
and in your
and my very soul

a place that is both deep within
fully contained
richly nurturing

and also beyond the edges of vision
touching all things
in the universe at once

this is where I lose myself

some call this god
goddess
the vast mystery
the infinite
Beauty

I call her Gratitude

she wells up within me
when my lens releases a moment
of her beauty

she glimmers brightly
when I am seen
when I see
my soul-sisters

she dances cartwheels
when my heart
sees my future path

my eyes don’t see this path yet
my mind has not discovered where it will be

but my soul is no less excited
and Gratitude is no less alive
because of it

thank you sisters
for your faith
for your reflection

I see myself more clearly
in your eyes

and thank you
flowers
bees
sunshine
water
butterflies
air
earth
for feeding my soul

and thank you
interwebs
for this juicy
electric
connection

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